… A lot better than this (Andy Biersack Imagine)

Request: Hey love, could you write one with Andy Biersack— where Y/N is overweight and has always struggled with it and bullies then later began to self-harm then developed an ED. And one night her and her boyfriend (Andy) are out at dinner and he makes a comment about her weight then she goes to the bathroom with tears in her eyes and then Andy finds her trying to throw up and then apologizes and everything. Have it be really really really fluffy and cute at the end please. Sorry it’s so much!

Trigger Warning: Eating disorders, self-harm


“Are you okay, babe?” Andy asked and gave you a concerned look as he reached for your hand. You nodded slowly, even though you weren’t feeling very well. “I’m fine.” You said and tried to smile, but there was a tight knot in your stomach making you feel sick. 

Andy, your boyfriend of two years, had taken you out for dinner in a really expensive restaurant. You didn’t want to say no because you knew how much dates like this meant to him. But the problem was, you hated eating in public or in front of him. You always felt so fat, it was awful. You usually made yourself throw up after eating something which was pretty difficult in this situation. 

You tried to swallow your bad thoughts and feelings and smiled again, this time a little more confident. Andy just raised an eyebrow and then leaned back a little, giving you a happy smile. “It’s so lovely to be here with you.” He said and kissed your temple. “It is.” You said and for a second you actually thought you were at least a bit content but right in this moment the waitress came to bring you both your food. Your heart dropped, and so did your smile. You couldn’t eat this. You couldn’t eat anything of this. It would just… Fill your body with its awful fats and calories, making you look even more chubby and ugly. You could feel your eyes water as Andy looked at you, giving you this worried gaze once again. “(Y/N), something’s definitely not right. What’s wrong? Please tell me.” You just shook your head, ran your hand through your hair and took a deep breath. Your sight cleared a bit and the tears disappeared as you put on another fake smile and tried to avoid Andy’s looks. “Nothing is wrong, I’m alright.” You said and squeezed his hand a little. He sighed. “Okay then.”

The two of you started to eat. It was a torture for you; you felt more and more terrible with every bite, every swallow. Memories washed over your mind. How everyone always used  to call you a “fat cow”, an “ugly whale”, “fatass”. 

After a while, Andy put his fork aside and looked at you. “Say, (Y/N)… Are you on a diet right now? Because you should-“ That was enough for you. This comment threw you over the edge, you stood up from your chair and acted like you searched something in your handbag. “I’ll just… Go to the toilet” You said, tears choking your words as you turned around and walked to the toilet. Andy bit his lip as he watched you walking away. He could’ve punched himself for even trying to talk about things like this, he knew how sensitive you were and he immediately felt really sorry. ‘Come on, Andy, you gotta fix this.’ He thought to himself as he stood up and followed you to the toilet.

Meanwhile, you where kneeling in front of the toilet seat with two of your fingers almost completely stuck down your throat. But whatever you tried, it didn’t work. You were the only one at the toilet, nobody could watch or hear you so you just broke out in tears because you were not able to hold them in longer. You buried your face in your hands and let the tears flow as you could hear the door open. You quickly put a hand over your mouth and tried to calm down. Your breath was still heavy and shaky but you managed to keep quiet. A sigh escaped your lips as you hear Andy’s familiar voice calling out your name. “(Y/N)? Are you in here? Baby, please talk to me.” He shouted and you slowly stood up. Your legs shook and you felt dizzy so you sat down again. Andy said your name once again and then knocked at the door. “Can I come in?” You had a look at the door and only just noticed that you forgot to lock it. Andy carefully opened the door just to find you sitting in front of the toilet with red eyes and smeared makeup. He sat down next to you and pulled you into his arms as you started to cry again. “Shhh. Stop crying, (Y/N), it’s okay, I’m with you. It’s okay…” He tried to calm you down and as you finally caught your breath again, he looked you straight in the eyes and took a grab of your hand. “(Y/N)? I’m so sorry. I wanted to say that you shouldn’t go on a diet because I know how insecure you are of yourself and that hurts my heart. It really hurts me to see you thinking that you’re not beautiful, because you truly are. You are much better than every eating disorder ever and also…” His hands wandered from your palms to your wrists and gently stroked the scars on them. “… A lot better than this.” The words left his lips slowly and quietly, he almost whispered and you could barely understand them. Andy pulled you into his chest again and then started kissing every scar and cut on each of your arms. “You’re beautiful. No matter how much you weigh. Weight is not important. I love you. You’re beautiful. You mean the world to me. I love you so much. You’re beautiful.” He whispered sweet little things between every kiss and you felt like a huge weigh was lifted up off your heart. You smiled at Andy as he placed a final kiss on your forehead, and then on your lips. “You are gorgeous. I love you, (Y/N).” He whispered silently as your lips separated from each other. “I love you too, Andy.”

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